Learning Together...

Lamentations 3:22-23 Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. The are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion", says my soul, "Therefore I hope in Him!" The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, To the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

Well it has been quite the roller coaster ride for the past few days - some definite hilltops and some definite lows. I of course enjoy blogging about the highs more, but to keep it real and honest to others and because I want this to be an honest journal for our family in the future - I will share a few struggles. It's funny because I started to type this Sunday night and it was pretty negative and I just didn't have the energy to finish. But already I can barely recall those feelings because really it was just a bump in the road and we have already moved on.

Sunday morning was great - the girls love church (especially worship) and enjoyed playing afterward in the gym since we ate lunch there. Then we came home (Zach had to leave to work that afternoon) and I really struggled with obedience issues with Katya. Just simple things - like refusing to turn off the tv, getting fruit without asking (we have told them just to ask first), not eating in the appropriate places, splashing a lot of water in the tub (for the 2nd day in a row), and pouting when corrected. And just working through some slight hurt feelings among the three girls. Not to mention, Ben wouldn't nap and Jadon kept picking on his brother! Did I mention that I had stayed up too late and was tired too!!! Not a good combo and led to a rather overwhelmed and grumpy momma and you know, "If Momma's not happy..."

So that's the bad part - not really all that bad now that it is past!!! Perspective is amazing! But the really amazing part is once again how God supplied for our needs and quite literally poured out His grace on us. All I can say - if you were led to pray for us Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and today - God heard your prayers and I felt them!!!! The first way that God helped me was through Zach - my sweet, wonderful husband came home and calmly took over - realizing that I needed a break. Then he made time for me to talk with Allee and help her figure out some healthy boundaries and just talk and pray with mom. Much needed for us both. Then he patiently listened to me and didn't correct me in my emotional state but wholeheartedly prayed with me and for me and for our family. He encouraged me to pray and spend some time in the word and to ask for some advice from those who have gone before us in similar journeys. Some have expressed concern that the added stress of adding two new children to our family may place too much stress on our marriage. I can say that without a doubt our love for one another has quadrupled and the stress has thus far done nothing but draw us together and allow us to see God at work in each others' lives. Thank you Lord for my husband.

So then I received some great encouragement from Connie - she adopted 2 girls the same ages as Katya and Nastya about five years ago. I have really appreciated what she shares on her blog and through emails to me. Our talk helped me to be more confident about what approach to take. Thanks Connie for making time to talk and pray for us!!

Then on Monday afternoon we had Liliya come over- the translator that we hooked up with at the pool (or rather that God dropped in our path!!!). We played memory game all together and learned a little English. We talked about the importance of listening and while at first Katya said that she 'did not promise to listen to Momma' :) she truly listened to me and we have seen her really trying and doing so much better. I really expected all this (although in reality I don't always react the way I imagine!) and seriously - this kid has never been able to really trust adults and now here she is in a new family that she can't communicate with and we are telling her that she has to listen to us all the time. I understand her frustration and am very encouraged to see that she has been doing AMAZINGLY well the past few days. I know it will be ups and downs - but with what child is it not? I see enormous potential and hope by the grace of God. So I guess that is why I titled this 'learning together' - I think my expectations were pretty unrealistic on Sunday and I was grumpy which led to further feelings of uncertainty and unwillingness to listen. I was able to talk to her through Liliya and really communicate some much needed conversations, my love for her, my desire to do good for her, and just to laugh together and joke around a bit. So I am learning how to more graciously approach Katya (as well as the others) and having some more clarity and direction about how to best love and train her. This time is so invaluable for us to learn and regroup before they come home forever. We are seeing a few needed changes that are hard to make right now - such as we plan to eliminate all tvs from the house other than the one in the living area and perhaps my bedroom so that it is easier to regulate the amount of movies they watch.

Moving on to Tuesday ~ Zach left very early and came home very late this day. I considered taking everyone to a movie or roller skating or something to just get out of the house. But as I thought about the day, I decided we needed a down day and that if we left, it would be more for me than for them. I also determined to keep them downstairs and with no movies until rest time. Amazingly - it worked! We (all six of us) cooked together, cleaned together, played games together, did an art project that Liliya left, worked on English lessons (Rosetta Stone), and just had a blast! Then they enjoyed a quiet afternoon and Ben even slept!!! I used that time to do some much needed office work. Everyone then got up and we played a few more games and ate dinner. We tidied up once more and were happily on our way to bed by the time Zach came home. How nice that was for him!!! And how thrilled I was to just experience the Lord give me the grace and strength and wisdom to walk through the day with joy.

So that brings us to today - Wednesday. It was Ben's first day at pre-school, Katya's first filling at the dentist (which Liliya helped SO much with by clearly explaining the process and the need for the dental work), and the day that my sister's precious baby boy - Bennet Toufiq - came home from Ethiopia!!! We had a good morning - Zach took Ben to school and Jadon to work with him. We headed to the dentist, calling Liliya on the way for a brief run-through on what to expect again and to discuss the schedule for the rest of the day. Of course they like to know what they are going to be doing the rest of the day and today they had a few choices to make! The dentist appointment went well - it was a deep cavity and while not very painful - it was very frightening for her to hear and feel the drill. She clung to my hand for dear life and a tear or two slid down her cheek, but she bravely remained still and the dentist finished in record time. When it was all over she was confused about the numbness but we told her it would go away. We had Marble Slab to celebrate her great job!!! She told Nastya it is not so bad, which is a good thing since her first appointment (of many unfortunately) is tomorrow morning!! She has to have an extraction - which sounds horrible - but it is really not since it is just a baby tooth that will come out easily due to the bad decay and she will be numb. But her greatest fear is having teeth pulled - they do this commonly in Ukraine when there is bad decay and they don't use anesthetic!! So I have not told her specifically what is being done yet - not sure when to break the news.

Last, but certainly not least!!! BENNET TOUFIQ ROBERTS is HOME!!! Whoop!! It has been a difficult process but it is all forgotten now! He is just about the cutest thing you've ever seen. We had a fun welcome home celebration at the airport - complete with signs and Ethiopian flags! Thanks Becca! He is doing so well and it is so amazing to see how perfectly he fits their family. Check our her blog for pics and more details!!! http://www.edenhorsefarms.blogspot.com/

Okay, if you are even still reading :), sorry for the loooooong post again - but I just have so much to remember right now!