Tuesday, August 26, 2008

"When Can I Stay Forever?"

That is the question I was asked just a few days ago. We were invited to attend a Ukrainian Independence Day celebration on Sunday. It was lots of fun with good food, swimming, and an abundance of translators. All the people were so kind and very excited about our adoption/hosting process.

As we were leaving, I asked Liliya to translate some information to the girls about the upcoming dentist appointments this week. (More on that in a sec) The kids were in the car and it had started to rain. So standing in the rain under an umbrella with her daughter waiting, Liliya patiently translated a what turned into a quite lengthy conversation! What an incredible gift she has been to us! So in the middle of talking about dentists and swimming and random stuff, Katya asks what must have been on her heart and finally she saw a chance to express. Nastya followed that up with "Nastya no hochish internot" (Nastya does not want to go to the orphanage). With hearts melting, we looked at both girls, held their hands and told them that we loved them both very much. We said that if it were up to us they would stay here forever and not leave at all. But that it was not our decision and if we did that we would go to jail. That got a few laughs and they understand. Then we told them we had done everything on our end and that we were just waiting for the governement of Ukraine to tell us when we could come to Ukraine. We told them that we hoped it would be before Christmas. That is all we could give them. This led to a quiet, introspective ride home for Katya and to nightmares that night for Nastya. My heart breaks that they must return.

I followed up that conversation with a little more via the online translator. I told them again how much I loved them and that I could not wait for the day when we can talk more about what we are all thinking. I told them that this was God doing this work in our lives and they wholeheartedly agreed and Katya said that He had given them so much good.

On another note, please pray for me. I am tired. It has been a doozy of a month and the adrenaline is over. The next week seems daunting on an emotional and physical level. Allee and Jadon start school Tuesday and that is also the girls' last day here. Another doozy on timing! It seems that just about every major life event of the past two years is being squeezed into this particular time period. Allee is worried about school and the girls are emotional about leaving. I have much preparation to do on both ends. Oh, did I mention my birthday is Sunday? I want to make this time sweet for all but have many conflicting demands. Pray that God redeems this time and gives me the grace I need.

On yet one more note, we have had some challenges with Katya. She is super sweet and loving one minute and then so pouty the next because perhaps I say that we are going to the park and she would rather swim! Like a 12 year old one second and 2 the next. It's hard to know how to react and how to balance grace and firmness. And then there are little things that are difficult. Particularly when it is time to do anything, sit down at the table, get in the car to go somewhere (even somewhere she wants to go), get ready for bed, etc...she had a gazillion things that she needs to do before doing the thing that we have asked. I am struggling to clearly, patientely and firmly redirect and show her what to do and to realize that anyone needs to have a little time to finish up what they are doing before moving on to the next thing. But this is definitely an area we are praying for wisdom... Of course I guess all this is maybe not so different than our boys but we just know how to deal with these issues with them and I guess because of her age we expect more. But I know I shouldn't. She hasn't had the blessings of godly parental love, training, and example. I guess we are just seeing firsthand some of the struggles that we completely expected (and thankfully not nearly as bad as imagined actually) - this just happens to be reality rather than imagining!

So on to the dentist update. Nastya went last Thursday and did great! She had two teeth pulled (don't worry they were baby teeth that needed to come out) and one filling. She is so brave and just had a few concerns when the drilling started. She was very happy when we told her that new teeth were going to come in where the others were pulled. And she had her first experience with the tooth fairy! She wanted a real live puppy but a tiny, cute pink and purple one along with some gum was okay too :) We go for round two tomorrow...

Today has been an interesting day. We got home from roller skating at 9:00 tonight and with a child who was pouting because she didn't want to leave the skating rink - glad she loved it so much :) Then we couldn't find my beloved 11 year-old golden retriever, Bailey, who had gotten himself stuck in a hole that he had dug for himself in the mud. It took quite awhile with flashlights to find him in the dark yard and while calling him, we woke up a few kids :) It was kind of like 'Shadow' on Homeward Bound. But at least he wasn't hurt!

6 comments:

Kevin and Pam said...

Wow, you sure have a lot on your plate right now. You are so blessed to have had your girls visit this summer. It won't be long until you get to see them again and bring them home forever! I was exhaused also after hosting last summer. I think all of the emotions take their toll. I can only hope after getting into a routine, things will get easier! I hope you have a wonderful birthday on Sunday. I can't think of a better way to spend it. You will have you "whole" family gathered around you. Mine is in November and I hope to be able to celebrate it in a similar way.

Connie said...

Oh, how I remember and understand the vast range of emotions going on in your household! It's not easy and is in fact mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting--remember His strength in your weakness!

What a WONDERFUL opportunity you had to tell your girls that you love them and are doing all you are supposed to but must wait on God's timing--you're planting seeds in their thinking and understanding. It's note-worthy that they didn't miss the humor in your explanation (jail) either! What a blessing the Lylia has been!

Always enjoy your updates! You remain in my prayers, and I hope you'll have a very memorable b-day this Sunday! :-)

ashley said...

what a sweet/heartbreaking conversation. what sweet little girls. hang in there, i know you've had a lot going on but things will slow down soon enough and you'll be wishing it was busier. what a time to rejoice, for all of us!

jeri said...

wow, that is a dozzy of a story. it made me both laugh and cry. i cant imagine the thoughts that must be running thru nastya and katya's heads as time grows short until they must leave. i pray they can focus on the fact that soon God will have you all together as one big happy family! baby, try not to think about all you have to get done this next week, just concentrate on and enjoy each moment and everything that is important will be handled. sometimes the BIG picture of all that you must do can be daunting but you know as well as i do that you will accomplish those things that you know are at the top of the list. and the rest---well those werent so important after all, were they? i love you and am looking forward to all of you being here this weekend and celebrating your 30th birthday together. mommie

Debora Hoffmann said...

Stephanee, the ranging emotions and pouting sound so familiar. We went through many things but we all learned so much through them. God taught us a lot during our summer hosting, and Elaine mentioned many times that she was understanding more and more about all aspects of life and also how to behave. We are praying she'll place her trust in Christ...and we miss her! Prayers for you all in the coming days!

Ashley said...

I am praying for you. I know this must be tough. The girls are going through a lot right now and it will be so nice when they are home for good. The time will be here soon. :)