The Miracle Worker

Last night we decided to have a family movie night. Things had been been busy, the kids had all worked so hard, it was raining, and curling up together on the couch seemed like just the thing to do.

The Miracle Worker is the biography of the childhood of Helen Keller and her dedicated teacher, Annie Sullivan. Helen, blind and deaf, was an angry child who was allowed to engage in disruptive behavior such as breaking vases when angry or eating off anyone and everyone's plates at mealtimes. She was then 'rewarded' with candies for throwing tantrums. Her parents were so filled with pity for her that they allowed her behavior and only desired to make her 'happy'. Helen was becoming increasingly disruptive and manipulative and causing great distress in their entire household. It came to the point that they were even considering institutionalizing Helen. In one last effort, they hired Annie Sullivan to be her teacher. Annie had been blind but with surgery had regained her eyesight. Helen immediately doesn't like Annie because Annie will not allow her to do whatever she wants and sets rules and boundaries in her life. Annie tells her parents that their pity is only hurting their child and that the most loving thing that they can do is to teach her to obey first. Annie wisely pointed out that until Helen can learn to obey, she can not begin to be taught anything else with any success. It breaks the hearts of Helen's parents, but they allow Annie to take Helen and discipline her. In quite an amazing scene in the dining room, a battle of the will takes place as Annie requires her to eat from her own plate with a fork. Despite her blindness, Helen was a very smart child who clearly understood what was being asked and was defiantly refusing. With great patience and endurance and discipline, Annie finally succeeds in gaining Helen's obedience. The training continues and with consistency and discipline, Helen is very soon happy, engaged, eating with perfect manners, learning to knit, and quite delightful to be around. Annie endures spitting, hitting, being locked in a room, and much more to teach this child that she must obey. But then Annie tells Helen's parents, "I have only taught her one thing - NO. If only she could learn one word then I could give her a million Yeses." Finally, one day with water running over her hand and Annie signing on her hand, Helen understands. The sign means water. Suddenly she can communicate and her life was changed. She went on to do amazing things, she and Annie were dear friends the rest of their lives, and there is much more to her story. What stood out to me though is that learning to accept 'No' had to come before the million 'yeses'. Learning to obey was first and that opened the door for her heart and mind to receive so much more.

Why did I tell you this?

Because of what happened after the movie. Katya and I were in her room and I noticed that she seemed particularly clingy and loving. She held me tight and just started sobbing and saying that she didn't know why she was crying. I told her that was okay and just held her. Then she said (without us having made any connection whatsoever) that we had loved her like Annie loved Helen and that no one had ever loved her like that before. She said that sometimes discipline and teaching was hard for her but that she needed it and that she was so thankful that God had given her parents to teach her. Was this the same child who was so defiant and disrespectful only 8 months ago? I told her that we loved her that way because God loves us that way. We are all a bit like Helen before we learn to walk in the joy and fullness of life that He longs to give us. But we can't even communicate with Him really until we learn to say "Yes" to Him and accept "No" as a loving response even when we don't understand. And nothing is more critical or loving to teach our children.

Katya has felt incredible love and safety and healing in knowing that we will be consistent, that we will follow through with what we say, that we will love her enough to not allow her to continue with a wrong attitude, and that our love is unconditional. Oh my, the insights and tender heart that God is giving our daughter. Unbelievable. He is the Miracle Worker.